Another Resource

Here is a helpline I found that is not limited to helping teens:

 

National Domestic Violence Hotline

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) was established in 1996 as a component of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) passed by Congress, NDVH is a nonprofit organization that provides crisis intervention, information and referral to victims of domestic violence, perpetrators, friends and families. The 24/7 number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

(Retrieved June 11. 2009 from http://www.ndvh.org/support-the-national-domestic-violence-hotline/about-support/)

Resources to Receive Help

Being a victim of dating violence is not your fault. Nothing you say, wear, or do gives anyone the right to hurt you.

• If you think you are in an abusive relationship, get help immediately. Don’t keep your concerns to yourself.
• Talk to someone you trust like a parent, teacher, school principal, counselor, or nurse.
• If you choose to tell, you should know that some adults are mandated reporters. This means they are legally required to report neglect or abuse to someone else, such as the police or child protective services. You can ask people if they are mandated reporters and then decide what you want to do. Some examples of mandated reporters are teachers, counselors, doctors, social workers, and in some cases, coaches or activity leaders. If you want help deciding whom to talk to, call the National Crime Victim Helpline at 1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255) or an anonymous crisis line in your area. You might also want to talk to a trusted family member, a friend’s parent, an adult neighbor or friend, an older sibling or cousin, or other experienced person who you trust. 

Help Yourself

 Think about ways you can be safer. This means thinking about what to do, where to go for help, and who to call ahead of time.

• Where can you go for help?
• Who can you call?
• Who will help you?
• How will you escape a violent situation? 

 Help Someone Else 

 If you know someone who might be in an abusive relationship, you can help.

• Tell the person that you are worried.
• Be a good listener.
• Offer your friendship and support.
• Ask how you can help.
• Encourage your friend to seek help.
• Educate yourself about dating violence and healthy relationships.

 (Retrieved June 11, 2009 from http://www.ncvc.org/tvp/AGP.Net/Components/DocumentViewer/Download.aspxnz?DocumentID=45314)

 

ALSO…

 

Help is just phone call away.

This 24-hour national web-based and telephone resource was created to help teens (ages 13-18) experiencing dating abuse and is the only helpline in the country serving all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.

 

 

 The site offers secure, live interactive chat to teens, which presents them with a familiar technology and an accessible means for communication. While online or on the phone, teens will be given support as well as referrals to local resources in their hometown to provide them with the help they need.

 

(Retrieved June 11, 2009 from http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/helpline.htm)

10 Warning Signs

So, we all have friends or family member in relationships where we feel something is just not right… Well, I found a link at www.loveisnotabuse.com, which is sponsored by Liz Claiborne (I don’t know why, but I find this surprising yet commendable) which list 10 warning signs that your friend or love one may be in a violent situation so I decided to share:

• When your friend and her boyfriend are together, he calls her names or puts her down in front of other people.
• He acts extremely jealous when she talks to other men, even when it’s completely innocent.
• She apologizes for his behavior and makes excuses for him.
• She frequently cancels her plans at the last minute, for reasons that sound untrue.
• He’s always checking up on her, calling or paging her, and demanding to know where she has been, and who she has been with.
• You’ve seen him lose his temper, even break or hit things when he’s mad.
• She seems worried about upsetting him or making him angry.
• She is giving up things that used to be important to her, such as spending time with friends or other activities, and is becoming more and more isolated.
• Her weight, appearance, or grades have changed dramatically. These could be signs of depressions, which could indicate abuse.
• She has injuries she can’t explain, or the explanations she gives don’t make sense.

(Retrieved on June 4, 2009 from http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/teen_10warningsigns.htm)

I would like to point out that even though this list refers to the victim as a “she”, dating violence can and does work either way. I know that a man being abused is taken much more lightly than when a woman is the victim, but I would like for us all to realize that dating violence is a reality for some men, too.

I Got Flowers Today (Poem)

When I was at The LYF Foundation event a few of the members narrated and acted out the following poem. Tonight I thought about it and decided to share. Let me know what you think:

It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things
that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn’t mean
the things he said
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day
Last night he threw me into a wall
and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmeare.
I couldn’t believe it was real
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day.
Last night he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I’m afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally kileed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered
Enogh courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flower today.

Anonymous

(Retrieved from http://www.cafra.org/article407.html)

Polls

Love is Blind

Do you remember or have you ever heard “Love is Blind by Eve”? Hopefully, if you follow the hyperlink you can hear it, if not you may have to open a free account with Imeem. In any event, this song dawned on me this evening as it relates to my cause. I can remember when it used to be in rotation on the radio. Everytime I would hear it, I’d feel this strange sense of anger and sadness at the same time. What really made it strange was that I could not personally relate to the story Eve was telling in this song, but still I felt angered by the violence and the story of the lowlife abuser yet saddened by the tale of despair and the l tragic loss of a friend.

Let us spread the word and teach the youth a different method of interaction so that these vicious cycles of violence will be eliminated!

The LYF Foundation

Yesterday I attended an event sponsored by the LYF (Love Yourself First) Foundation to spread awareness of domestic violence. Specifically they are focusing on girls ages 11-21 and I have to say, the event was quite uplifting. It was refreshing to see women from all walks of life together for one common cause. Also, to my surprise, the founder of the foundation, Latoya Parker, is not a former victim, she is just a young woman with a heart for people, which in my book is truly noteworthy. I really had a nice time and look forward to working with the LYF Foundation in the future! (Sorry, I should have taken pictures, but I’m still new at this!) Check them out at www.thelyffoundation.ning.com www.myspace.com/lyforganization www.lyffoundation.blogspot.com

Hello world!

Welcome to my blog! My hope is that you will gain awareness about dating violence so that you may spread the word and teach our youth.